22!

Oh god! It's May! 20 days more and.. Ahh I don't wanna think about it. I already felt old turning 21, let alone turning 22!

So anyways.. drumrolls.. trumm trumm trummm.. here’s what you’ve all been waiting for! The birthday wishlist! :D

1. htc TouchPro 2 or BB Bold 9700- checked. Hehehe :D


2. this: http://www.ipanemaflipflops.co.uk/women/bikini-white-flip-flop.html


3. The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama


4. a yoga mat.


5. new sportsbra.


6. maxi dresses of any any any any any color. eventhough i already have 10 pairs of those :D


7. this: http://www.oriongadgets.com/images/blackberry-bold-9700-onyx-plastic-case-pink-white-zebra.jpg


8. a pair of neon i popperz!!


9. a kitchen complete with everything. EVERYTHING. that includes an oven, a mixer, food processor, cake pans, cupcake pans, cupcake holder, pastry dough.. pastries.. chocolate chunk cookies.. lemon flavored cupcakes.. toffee slices with dried apricots.. and the list goes.. but nah an oven alone would be nice enough.


10. 


11. flight tickets to Bali. checked.


12. plastic surgery. haha kidding! longer legs and a more toned tummy would be nice though


13. someone to finance my backpacking trip in december.


14. him:

that's it! 14 things this year. that's all i wish for. :)

The White Rose.

i have given tumblr many chances but somehow i still feel more at ease writing in blogspot. feels more at home. probably I'm just old fashioned. or too lazy to figure out how to put dates on my posts in tumblr.

so here i am back cruising through spotbloggg.

i was talking to my mum earlier and she told me she found a new meaning for my name which is The White Rose, which i think is awesomeee. :) but it would've been more awesome if it means white+orange+some yellow roses cause that would be the perfect color combination of rose bouquet. at least i think so. but lilies still rock better though.

now i'm wondering what on earth was my mum doing browsing through name meanings..? god forbid i'm getting another baby sister or brother! can't stand tiny crying creatures. just like how they can't stand me. babies are choosy, they like tall people. oh well if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

that aside, somebody i know, once, while googling the meaning of his name, tried to find out the meaning of mine and apparently Sabrina means A FREAKING BORDER in Latin. Nur Sabrina actually means the light of patience in the Quran. So take that Latin people, I'm the light of patience. says God. :) but I wonder if I'm really that patient at all, seeing that i whine about almost everything. heh.

feels nice to blog crap again.

why is a raven like a writing desk?

sometimes i don’t get it. oh by the way.. the title has nothing to do with what’s going on in my head right now.

sometimes i don’t get it how much people self-sabotage themselves. i’ve been through some relationship mumbo jumbo in the past couple of weeks.. months actually. and i was abandoning people along the way cause i thought i was gonna be selfish for my own good. little did i know all i did was harm.. not to anyone else but myself.

people pace through life in different ways. some prefer working 9 to 5 to get more than what they already have and some prefer to settle. some choose to think and argue about the end of us all, and some prefer to just let it come. some stick to one principle and others are more flexible. me? i don’t even know where i stand anymore. i don’t know if i’m a good person, or a bad one. i’d like to think of the latter, but i’m in no place to judge.

anyway.. i gotta go now. med school madness is coming soon. toodles.

my holiday short note.

It's been almost two weeks now since I'm home. This particular break had been great, spending time with family and friends (as cliche as that my sound) and honestly, there hasn't been one day that I spent just chillaxing at home but it was all.. worth it. especially the going shopping days :)

despite all the craziness of shoppings and baking days and time spent with my baby sister Sofea and also the screaming and dancing at the beach with the waves and just lying down on the sandy beach of Pahang seashores during the short getaway with my cousins, I couldn't seem to drive my mind into ease. at all.

and for some particular reason, I chose not to blame anyone.

tomorrow we'll all be in 2010, so tonight I'm going to celebrate the coming of it with the closest of friends. (why oh why am I getting so cliche even I am getting sick of it) but really, the past 2 years came and went with let's just say.. I haven't been celebrating new years in quite a while. and 2009 was a bumpy road all the way. so i'm hoping 2010 comes bringing smiles and dreamcometrues. :)

p/s: think I'm getting that thing I've been planning to get since last August. Off for a good start for 2010. weeeee :):)

Moving.

Dear audiences,

I have moved to: HERE.

Warning Sign by Coldplay.

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized,
you were an island and I passed you by,
You were an island.. to discover.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so..

Much worse drooling effect.

Ooooooooh. Frigg friggin friggg!
I. Am. Speechless.

Is shirtless Jacob really 17? He's 17? Damn.



1.26-1.30 is too hot.

IIIIIII! Can'tttttt!! Waittttt!!!

Exams, the repetitive epidemic.

I've been too self-absorbed lately i think i appeared an ass in front of everyone. but going through this phase is always hard, period. it is for everyone, and i'm trying my best to keep my head above water.

anyways tomorrow the mid semesters exams will start so i'm in the normal pissy-stressedout-hairallovertheplace mode. not to mention the train wreck my room is in right now.

i hope this week ends quick. and the next next next week too please. i need baking therapy at home.

just some random question: is it possible to remain friends with a person you have feelings for? or a person who have feelings for you? or a person you used to have feelings for?

i'm hoping it's possible for all three.

okay, back to burying face in books. til then :)

Rainbows.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows? What is it about rainbows?

When I was small I've always wanted to become a rainbow. Rainbows were a cheery thing to me, it brings out the beauty of the after-rain sky even more. Yet it's so mysterious. Rainbows were too special for me, at such it can turn a whole bad day around by just seeing one.

But I've become everything but a rainbow.
I became the storm I've dreaded my whole life.
I became the storm that tore a heart open.

And worse, I left the wound open when I know damn well I could fix it.

I could.
I should.
But I would not.

Will I ever become a rainbow again? Was I even one?

I'm in so much pain too. But I can only hope for the best of both.


To those who's always reminding me of the better part in life, thank you. Thank you for making me forget once in a while that I'm the bad cloud.

"There's always a rainbow at the end of a storm."

I'll keep the distance.

Because maybe that's what you want. Or maybe that's what I want.

I'll keep my distance now.. Because maybe that's the only way to save this.

Fact #1.

I tried to take it as another one of those small fights we always have but you and I both know, it isn't.

I felt disrespected by you. I feel worthless. I feel like sucking this in, yet again, but my conscience knew better this time.

After all these years, I just don't get how you can throw something like that my way.

I thought you knew better than that. I thought this means a lot more to you. Maybe I was wrong.

Sunday night.

Now that I'm actually back here in this biz, I find myself pretty frequently wanting to update my blog.

Oh well let's hope it's nothing hot hot chicken shit. :)

Btw, do you remember Friendster? Do you remember that era when everyone uploads only self snapshots especially the typical from above angle which usually makes you look like you have slimmer face and smaller nose? Yeah some people still do that these days, and it's getting really annoying to look at. Come on, we get it, you wanna prove to the world that you're actually good looking. But those ways just doesn't work anymore. Go figure.

On a sidenote, I've been thinking all day about this:

There are so many things I wanna do before I go 30, i wanna do volunteer work, i wanna serve in a war, I wanna see Coldplay perform live, I wanna have a drink with Jason Mraz, I wanna go bungee jumping, I wanna travel across Europe, and by the end of all that, I hope I'll get married.

But time's passing by pretty fast. Will I be able to do all that?

p/s: guess who's going to Symphonesia tonight? :) thanks Abe & Ned!

Bebelpenguin, Nad, Symphonesia and New Moon. I'm clearly out of idea for a title.

Hello everyone. Anyone?

It always feels so refreshing to read bebelpenguin and Nad's blog. They're the best. Oh and they're both real life friends. Just in case you're wondering.

I'm currently having chicken gravy slash soup and running a HIMYM marathon. And we're supposed go to Symphonesia tonight , but Neddy's still out trying to get the tickets. Fingers crossed!

Read more about Symphonesia here. Or if you're that lazy, or you simply just don't speak Indonesian, Symphonesia's basically a music festival held annually by my uni in Bandung. It stands for Symphony Indonesia. Awesome Indo acts perform each year, i.e. Maliq & D'essentials. Need I say more? :)

So all in all, it's a pretty normal weekend.

I've been scrolling through my previous entries that's been left in drafts. why the hell did i leave those in drafts?

anyway. can't wait for New Moon. the trailer just sent Twilight's down the drain. It kicked ass.

Dear Rollercoaster,

i miss blogging. period.


...





when nak ada chance to write again ni?

Randoms.

I'm in the midst of a very busy week (soon to come - very busy weekend), but i just had the urge to blog. so here's some random thoughts and questions.

1. i have been at home for almost three weeks now, is it too soon to feel sad about leaving? i don't hate bandung, i just love KL more.

2. As a world-renowned procrastinator, i would like to officially tell you i have been drafting so many post lately, i just haven't had the time to finish them.

3. my grammar is screwed.

4. i just came back from an overnight at my dad's. my 5 year old step sister is in preschool and is currently learning the ABCs. is it weird if i tell you it felt funny to see her write her name with the same last name as mine?

my sister and I. Big Apple donuts.

5. i got myself an iPod Touch. 2nd generation is so much better. but i now want a psp slim.

6. i feel like killing myself for not asking Zalikha for the Worldstage tickets sooner.

7. i feel like killing myself for i know The AAR is performing tomorrow and I'll be 800 metres away, unable to see them.

8. i take cupcake orders now. they're pretty and they taste great. approved by friends and family. so order them now!

9. for orders call me at 0132671426.

10. Premonition was a stupid movie.

So the rumor IS true.

That all good-looking men are either taken or gay.

Now I think there's a slight mistake in the statement, seeing that it's not just good-looking, it's men with gorgeous face with to die for eyes and smiles and extra saucy hot bods that are either taken or gay.

Sad, isn't it?

As if Wentworth Miller being open about his sexual orientation isn't hurtful enough, I just found out that he's currently dating Luke MacFarlane! If you've seen Brothers & Sisters you'll definitely know who Greekgod-like creature Luke MacFarlane is. And to quote wikipedia, 'Personal Life: MacFarlane is openly gay. That's TWO losses for the women race! :(

To any still existing, good looking, single men, take note that it is a BIG relief these days to us girls to hear you tell us that you are actually into women.

Well. It's a relief to know at least this guy isn't gay. But he's totally married with two kids.

Watch James 'Jimmy' Marsden at his best and also in the most ridiculous interview in history.

Who ever's not already in love with this guy? If you aren't, go watch 27 Dresses and drool. It's one of my personal favorites (after 50 First Dates!).

On a sidenote, I am more than proud of the Malaysian football team. It was real BIG, to have lost only by ONE goal to M freaking U. To the Malaysian team i say: well done. To MU, good luck for your upcoming battles in the next seasons. You'll need those.

hah, and I don't even watch football.

p/s: this post is just among some of the random thoughts, i have no intentions to be disrespectful towards homosexuals, let it be gays or lesbians.

It is..?

It is,

it is the feeling when you're handling in your long overdue assignment to the professor.

it is the feeling of getting out of the salon with a fresh new cut you love.

it is the feeling of seeing your cupcakes turn gold in the oven.

it is the feeling during/after an ultimate getaway.

it is the feeling after a hell of an awesome meal.

it's the feeling when you lose some weight..?

IT IS,

it's the feeling of a doctor seeing his patients walk out of the hospital healthy and smiling.

it's the feeling of an architect watching his sketches turn 3D, into glorious buildings.

it's the feeling of a designer seeing his garments on the runway.

it's the feeling of a procrastinator, managing to finish at least this entry. not proud.

it's the feeling of a mother in labor, seeing her baby cry for the first time.

it is the feeling of knowing you overcame your greatest fears.

it's the feeling of surviving cancer.

IT'S THE FEELING OF WINNING.

it's the feeling of,

it's relief, it's SATISFACTION.